Sunday, July 27, 2014

Zero-Zero

I stare at the two googly eyes
   & wait

slowly the right blinks one
    then two
    then three
creeping (ever so slowly) one-by-one to the next number

but the left remains - a worm hole
boring into my chest cavity
sucking in my fragile mind

Is it me?  Am I doing something wrong?
Or is it just me hoping for a connection
    that will never be?

I'm the first to ring
      the first to knock
I fight tooth&nail to step through the doors
                           to engage with others

It's exhausting &
I can count on my left pinky toe (& sometime my right)
the number that will initiate first-contact

I stare at the zero ogling me
who in my mind's eye is reflecting
my worth

3 comments:

Brian Miller said...

smiles...i think you have come a good ways in connecting with others...i remember you telling me about it (years? ago?) well i will be your pinky toe...ha...

oy a week of being disconnected was...well, disconnecting...smiles...i am back...playing catch up....

Victoria said...

I can relate to this. I guess growth includes accepting ourselves as we are and I have found that life has forced me to be much more extroverted than I would normally be.

Mary said...

Ah yes, sometimes it is hard to be the one to initiate....but oftentimes the risk is worth it. One doesn't find out unless one tries. But I do know that it IS often a painful process as well. I think....for everyone...whether they admit it or not.