Monday, September 22, 2014

Slumbers' Kiss

crickets sing gently
beneath the moon's lushes glow
waking dreams behind closed eyes

car horns serenade
beneath flashing neon lights
coaxing dreams to steal the night



A note on form:  One form I have found interesting is the sedōka.  Being an ancient Japanese form predating the haiku, there is little about this form for an unschooled poet who relies on the internet for information.  It has been linked with the choka, tanka, and katauta.  Most closely it is related to the katauta; I have found sources that state the katauta is 5-7-7 and/or 5-7-5 (like a haiku, but without the nature link).  The form is known as a half-song...putting two together (in the 5-7-7 version) creates a sedōka.  My first exposure to the sedōka stated it was often a pair of individual poems (able to stand on their own) that addressed the same subject in a different manner.  I think this is what I like most about the form.  There is also sources that indicate this pairing was an exchange between lovers.  I prefer to link that instead with the katauta with the idea that two different individuals are writing in a call-n-response form.  I have been exploring this notion in a series called A Tale of Love (and Woe) - Lovers' Song.  Tomorrow I will be sharing the 8th piece in the series.

4 comments:

Vandana Sharma said...

Had tries a sedoka some times back. The effect it has is marvelous, just in a few lines it speaks for the heart. Lovely one!

Björn Rudberg said...

Yes this is exactly what a good sedoka should be.. you move the timelessness of nature into the contemporary city life, and just between the two ... that's were we reside.

Mary said...

And, oh those wonderful dreams! Very evocative writing here.

Brian Miller said...

i like the comparisons that come between the two stanzas...nature and modernity...they both sing...if you are listening...smiles...

thanks for checking on me...i went dark for a bit...needed a bit of time to get my bearings again after a tough season...