Friday, October 10, 2014

Death of a Goldfish

Death of a Goldfish


orange sherbet floats
belly up in a
crystal sea
[three parts 7UP
four parts ginger ale]

waiting on the hand
giant in relation
to his own
[though his doesn't exist
so that's saying a lot]

meant to scoop him up
placing him deep within
earth's underbelly

swallowing him whole
turning him over
swim through non-existence



Inspiration for this piece:  Over at dVerse Poets Pub, for this weeks MeetTheBar they're exploring "Verbal Cubism and Tender Buttons."  I thought "what the heck" and then I thought "what the heck."  (You'd know the difference if you could hear me say them in my head.)  Anyway, in an attempt to write something I came up with the above piece.  Just because the prompt gave birth to this, does not mean it fits the prompt...'cause the cubism thing confuses me and the poem above makes perfect sense.

On unearthing titles:  This piece originally was going to be called Goldfish...I know...very creative.  Then it was going to be called Goldfish and the Glass Box, because well boxes can be cubes.  But that went out the window when I changed the word swim (at the end of the first line) to floats.

9 comments:

Mary said...

Ah, swimming through non-existence would be quite a feat indeed. I especially like your last two stanzas.

Vandana Sharma said...

oh yes sometimes we meander through such thoughts

Claudia said...

probably it's the 7UP and ginger ale part that took me in the direction of someone with alcohol problems... the getting swallowed and swimming through non-existence..had to think of my dad who drank..

Grace said...

The last stanza brings a different perspective on death ~ I also like the title and orange sherbet floats, which strangely fits the poem ~

Victoria said...

Creative. You've blended in some cause for reflection with your verbal deconstruction.

Sumana Roy said...

swimming through non-existence is a perfect image of death to me...

Jeff said...

This is incredibly good--very like a cubist painting. Even though there is some definite meaning here, there is enough blending of images to make it an interesting experiment!

Brian Miller said...

nicely done....and hey i just wrote about a dead goldfish...smiles...perhaps he found freedom there in the end....

Björn Rudberg said...

First of all.. to me it meets the bar perfectly.. the form with parentheses are just like those colored fields of a cubist painting.. and the title contrasting to something much more than the death of a goldfish..