"For those concerned..."

I feel your words
   as though meant (souly) for me

strike the core of me

creating a fulcrum
        pros   &  cons
     teetter   –   totter
       back  -n-  forth
weighing my worth

unveiling a center
where thoughts spin uncontrollably
     clockwise
     arguing "against"
then stop suddenly as I cling to the rail
before thoughts run rampant gaining speed
     counterclockwise
     rationalizing "for"

I find myself searching for the center
where this perpetual spinning
feels more like being off balanced
than clinging on for dear life

and there – again – are your words
reminding me I'm not alone

I may be the only one who finds
the seesaw so daunting
or
the merry-go-round so dizzying
but
I'm not the only one
daring
to brave the playground

---

Inspiration for this piece (or as much of it as I'm willing to expose):  I've been having an argument with myself for the past several days.  It is amazing how creatively one can talk themselves out of something they want to do.  While the debate has been going on for over a month, I was able to push it off to the side.  Now as I approach the looming "zero hour," I can no longer hold things at bay.  It's decision time.  Still the argument, centered around the definition of "actively," rolls round in my head.  I'm leaning toward pro...fighting my fears...which don't really center around my fear of not being worthy in my own eyes (which is often the case), but being not worthy in the eyes of others.