Sunday, August 31, 2014

"For those concerned..."

I feel your words
   as though meant (souly) for me

strike the core of me

creating a fulcrum
        pros   &  cons
     teetter   –   totter
       back  -n-  forth
weighing my worth

unveiling a center
where thoughts spin uncontrollably
     clockwise
     arguing "against"
then stop suddenly as I cling to the rail
before thoughts run rampant gaining speed
     counterclockwise
     rationalizing "for"

I find myself searching for the center
where this perpetual spinning
feels more like being off balanced
than clinging on for dear life

and there – again – are your words
reminding me I'm not alone

I may be the only one who finds
the seesaw so daunting
or
the merry-go-round so dizzying
but
I'm not the only one
daring
to brave the playground



Inspiration for this piece (or as much of it as I'm willing to expose):  I've been having an argument with myself for the past several days.  It is amazing how creatively one can talk themselves out of something they want to do.  While the debate has been going on for over a month, I was able to push it off to the side.  Now as I approach the looming "zero hour," I can no longer hold things at bay.  It's decision time.  Still the argument, centered around the definition of "actively," rolls round in my head.  I'm leaning toward pro...fighting my fears...which don't really center around my fear of not being worthy in my own eyes (which is often the case), but being not worthy in the eyes of others.

5 comments:

Brian Miller said...

you should submit...
they were for you...
and for anyone that struggles determining their worth...
so stop the argument with yourself...
send the email...
because i want you included...

there you go...
smiles.

RMP said...

I need to work on being more cryptic...

while I wasn't looking for the encouragement...it is appreciated.

Heaven said...

Smiling back at you ~ You are a talented writer even though like anyone else (including me) you have doubts and hesitations ~ We all share the same fears (rejection, acceptance, approval) but why not just let the words fly off the page ~

Hey, I hope you submit to D'verse Anthology ~

Grace

RMP said...

Thank you!

I know I'm not alone, it's just easy to forget that sometimes. your words are greatly appreciated.

Mary said...

Oh, you definitely are not alone. Your words are treasures -- whether in the poetry you write or the comments you make elsewhere. Your words do make a difference.