Monday, February 17, 2014

Unspoken, but Avowed Nonetheless

Her:  It's been over a month.  *sigh* Does it bother you that I'm still not ready?

Him:  You feel quite ready to me.

Her:  [ She shakes her head slightly. ]  You know that is not what I mean.

Him:  hmm....  No.  [ He wraps his arms a little more tightly around her. ]  No, it doesn't bother me.  Don't...don't get me wrong, I thoroughly look forward to hearing the words cross those perfect lips of yours, but...I don't need to hear the words to know their truth.  I can feel them in every glance, every smile, in your biting wit, in the perfect silences that rest between us, in every - single - simple - touch...

[ He shifts his grip, causing her to turn around in his arms and face him. ]

Him:  I can taste the words
                             on the tip of your tongue
                                                             every time
                                                                          we kiss.

Her:  That was very poetic of you.

Him:  ^shrug^ What can I say, you're rubbing off on me.

[ He lifts his hand to cup the side of her face, gently brushes her cheek with his thumb, and leans in for a taste of the three little words that reside in her heart, but torment her mind. ]




On (or about) conversation:  I haven't quite found a comfort level with adding dialogue to my poetry.  I have done so on occasions, but I still can't get a feel for it.  It's kind of funny to me, as I was thinking about this write that my thoughts paralleled a previous dialogue post.  I think dialogue appeals to me because I lack the ability (the grace) to say what lies beneath the surface (partly because I shy away from conversation in general - the ill effects of social anxiety).  Of course I wage a lot of what I write exists due to my inability to connect in the world beyond the ones I like to fabricate.

6 comments:

Brian Miller said...

dialogue is not easy
you have to know when to use it...i think interspersing bits of dialogue into a poem open it up on a different level...

the convo you share is real...and saying i love you is def not easy...its a risk...smiles.

Laurie Kolp said...

I agree, dialogue can be tricky in poetry, but this works out perfectly.

Poet Laundry said...

Yes, I agree with you on dialogue...I struggle with the same thing, feeling that I am using it effectively. I think yours works here and does express that "beneath the surface" stuff that is going on. Great to see you RMP :)

Claudia said...

oh i think you did really well with the dialogue...i like how you set the scene, capture the mood and let us see beyond the words that are spoken...sometimes we know we love and express it with every little thing we do and say but so hard to actually speak those three words

Beachanny said...

I think you did very well here. It was very dramatic. When it works, it works and it's quite a valentine!

Mary said...

Your dialogue definitely worked to make the point you hoped to make. It sounds, at least, that they are both communicating...one way or another.