Saturday, February 15, 2014

Own the Lies to Own the Truth – and Love

Close your eyes and listen with your heart
don't ignore the truth it does impart; 
Own this feeling blossoming within, 
loose yourself in this insane whirlwind.

You deserve to be compete – to feel 
more – far more than dreamed; you needn't conceal 
nor inter the fear that binds, instead...

Share it!  Own it!  Breathe it!  Kill it dead!

There is much of you to love, you need 
but renounce the lies that fear does breed.
Shut them out – escape the pain – be free.
Close your eyes – the truth is hard to see.

Thoughts appreciated:  Currently the poem ends as I had initially intended in the last line, but after finishing the piece, I felt a little bit of a nag to change the final rhymes.  There is part of me that wants to hold true to the original inspiration for this piece and yet another that kind of likes the alternate ending.  Feel free to share your is the alternate final lines:

"Shut them out – escape the pain and fear;
close your eyes – the truth is hard to hear."

Inspiration for this piece:  This poem began with a simple line that popped into my head, "close your eyes the truth is hard to see."  After finding the 9 syllable phrase sounding nicely like trochee with an extra stress at the end (or as I prefer to think of it, iambic with an extra stress at the start), I thought it lent itself well to form.  So I set off to write the piece with this as the opening line.  It didn't take long before it found it's way from the leading line to the closing line.
A note on form:  This piece is a variation on the Framed Couplet.  (I like to call it a Chained Couplet.)  The form is composed of 9 syllable lines written (as mentioned above) in iambic meter with an extra stress to start off.  It also incorporates a beginning rhyme (on the first syllable) and an ending rhyme pairing each couplet like this.  In this variation, I have staggered the beginning and ending rhymes creating more of chain line between each and utilizing the same word as the first syllable in the opening and closing line to create a clasp of sorts.


Brian Miller said...

learning the letting go is one of the hardest parts of capture it there in that last stanza..its cool that one line that came to you ...a lot of truth in it...

Mary said...

We really never can ignore the truth. The truth IS. Whether or not we want to recognize it.

Kathryn said...

I love that last stanza, hard hitting.

Grace said...

I also like the ending ~ The truth is always hard to see & harder to accept ~ But freedom from lies will bring us back on road to self discovery & love ~ Enjoyed this ~

Claudia said...

i like how listening to our heart will lead us to the truth finally...something that is not so easy to find with our rational, logical eyes...