Friday, February 14, 2014

Philophobia

My heart is pounding—set in overdrive
as thoughts of love corrode me from inside;
and so I hide away in hopes my knight
shall never find the truth.
                                           Mask applied,
I step beyond the darkness where I wage
a war against myself.
                                    I can't be saved–

my heart is petrified and I am made
of nothing — nothing — still I turn and face
the world as though I'm whole, all while I nurse
a fear so great that there exists no church
that can absolve my soul.
                                           I am no worse
for wear, though love will never be my purse;

my heart is lost to love.
                                        There's no way back–
I have no choice except to live with that.



Inspiration for this piece: A prompt set forth by dVerse Poets Pub:

"Today, I’d like to challenge the dVerse community to play bout rimés with the following set of rhymes, which are taken from a sonnet by a contemporary poet:
drive, side, night, lied, wage, saved,made, face, nurse, church, worse,purse, back, that."

I did my best to adhere to the sonnets iambic pentameter, but I've never really been fond of writing in strict meter...so I cannot guarantee I managed it.

In the end, I have no idea if this piece makes sense or expresses the title as well as I wish, but it feels (frustratingly) good to write something more than what I've been able to conjure up as of late.

12 comments:

Mary said...

I like the thought of one's heart being lost to love. Truly I think there is nothing wrong with that. Smiles.

Nathaniel C. Oliver said...

There are many, many things I love about this poem, starting with the title. The line "love will never be my purse" in particular jumped out at me. This is just my opinion, but I have found that meter and form are good starting points, but trying to hold to close to them only leads to monotony, and trying to keep a poem too "reined in" does the same thing in terms of meaning. I could go on and on, but I will stop here for now. Looking forward to more!

Brian Miller said...

wow. quite moving..the feeling of being unfit for love or unloveable is a hard one...esp when we hope to be loved...that the knight might find us...well played...i like how you broke a couple of the lines....

rumoursofrhyme said...

YOu've done well with the end rhymes that were given; the breaking of the lines gives the whole poem a different feel - and thanks for putting the other side of the whole Valentine's industry; there are so many people who dread the day, feeling that they are unloved and unloveable.

James said...

The title got me, excellent! Great use of the bout–rimés. And an interesting tie to Valentine's Day. The last two lines are great. Sad, but great. Excellent work. I look forward to reading more!

grapeling said...

an excellent construction, emotive, introspective longing ~

Björn said...

This is excellent in form, the line-breaks introducing perfect caesura's... those moment to reflect.. for the sadness your have built into your poem... great work

Claudia said...

to me it speaks of a love that cannot be for whatever reason... the corrosion inside... the fear that he discovers... really cool write

Glenn Buttkus said...

A really thoughtful working of the prompt; like the notion that we all wear masks for all occasions. And like others, I enjoyed the creative line breaks, because it changed the rhythm of the rhyme scheme; nice job.

Rachel Hoyt said...

I LOVE what you did with the prompt! The line breaks lent a really beautiful rhythm to the piece. The words make me think of the type of lost love that makes one worry no new love will ever be as great or greater.

ds said...

Terrible to feel undeserving of love. I like what you did with the rhymes and the use of caesuras is very effective. Wonderful poem. Thank you.

charleslmashburn said...

I can certainly relate to this. I spent too many years feeling unworthy of love--denied its existence in fact.
Nicely done!