I've stonewalled the tears for as long as I can remember
with no other recourse, they forged another path
tunneling caverns within where they could run rampant
Class VI rapids tearing through me until I vibrate
My insides feel as though they're taking part
in electroshock therapy and someone
has forgotten to turn off the current
Did you know salt water is a perfect
conductor of electricity?
An aside: I had the second stanza in my head before the first. Not really sure what possessed me to write the first part and then tack on the second. As for the question at the end...honestly I was not at all sure where to go after the second stanza. Kind of got lost...the question popped in my head and well...I went with it and apparently have decided to end with it. So in the end, I'm not really sure about this piece...it feels like the questions should be the title and the poem should continue in some way shape or form....maybe I'll revisit this...though if I know anything about myself, that is extremely unlikely.
9 comments:
the water and the electricity play well in this...the electric current plays well with the rapids...class 4 is no joke...i have ridden some....
its finely done
You've really captured emotions here, RMP! Well penned.
A very efficient way to convey the feeling of anxiety.
You have described that anxiety so well (like a electroshock therapy) ~
heck...the images are tight... the anxiety, electricity and the salt water...ugh.. tightly penned
Life is but a series of these rapids, heh? I think you just inspired me for next week's Monday Meanderings!
Strong piece RMP. Well done.
To me the meaning of the last sentence is crystal clear. It ties the tears of the first stanza to the electroshock in the second making an excellent point
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