Sunday, March 16, 2014

Desensitize

Phase One

I stare - 5 minutes straight -
at my reflection in the mirror
   and watched
as the tears forged a path down
along my cheek to the corner
   of my mouth
and I'll do it again tomorrow
and the next day & the next day
   until
      the tears run dry

Phase Two 

I will repeat the words over
and over again like a mantra
   while I stare
at my reflection in the mirror
- glistening tears creasing my cheeks -
   and hold
my breath day after day after day
against the emotions threatening me
   until
      the tears run dry

Phase Three

With an expel of breath
I'll stutter the words aloud
   as I stare
at my reflection in the mirror
focused on the glassy eyes
   streaming
tears with each uneasy
word that crosses my lips
   until
      the tears run dry

Phase Four

I will steel myself and look people
in the eye as I pass them by
   my mantra
repeating over and over
tears prickling at the threshold
   still
I will lift my eyes to theirs
and focus on simply breathing
   until
      the tears run dry

Phase Five

Once I conquer
   "you are beautiful"
I will work on
   "your are loved"
followed by
   "you deserve to be happy"


3 comments:

Mary said...

This is a 'wow' series. I really like each of your stanzas. But I especially like the last stanza. And so true that EVERYONE deserves to be happy!!

Brian Miller said...

whew...what a series...i really like how you built this...that last bit...so hard for so many...repeating it def helps us start to believe...we need those affirmations.....

Gabriella said...

I too really like this series. I like how you play with both repetitions and variations. Very powerful!