Philophobia

My heart is pounding—set in overdrive
as thoughts of love corrode me from inside;
and so I hide away in hopes my knight
shall never find the truth.
                                           Mask applied,
I step beyond the darkness where I wage
a war against myself.
                                    I can't be saved–

my heart is petrified and I am made
of nothing — nothing — still I turn and face
the world as though I'm whole, all while I nurse
a fear so great that there exists no church
that can absolve my soul.
                                           I am no worse
for wear, though love will never be my purse;

my heart is lost to love.
                                        There's no way back–
I have no choice except to live with that.

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Inspiration for this piece: A prompt set forth by dVerse Poets Pub:

"Today, I’d like to challenge the dVerse community to play bout rimés with the following set of rhymes, which are taken from a sonnet by a contemporary poet:
drive, side, night, lied, wage, saved,made, face, nurse, church, worse,purse, back, that."

I did my best to adhere to the sonnets iambic pentameter, but I've never really been fond of writing in strict meter...so I cannot guarantee I managed it.

In the end, I have no idea if this piece makes sense or expresses the title as well as I wish, but it feels (frustratingly) good to write something more than what I've been able to conjure up as of late.

Alone w/ Hope

Alone w/ Hope
(image by rmp, that's me)

 

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Inspiration for this piece:  Lately I've been pondering hope.  And while it seems wrong, it does quite feel as though it is burning me from the inside out - an all consuming fire that rages, suffocating me.  I know there is a poem hidden somewhere in this feeling, but it has yet to surface.  In the meantime, I dug up this picture, which was used as inspiration for a previous piece (totally unrelated to hope).  I took what little words I had and crafted this. 

 

Behind the image:  I couldn't help myself...I had to take this picture of a way-to-busy-&-gaudy casino carpet...most people I've asked see an owl.  I see a face burning in hellish flames clawing to escape.   

PEACE

PEACE 

release 

quietus 

 

wary fingers move  

~ curious ... uncertain ~ 

seeking a form of closure 

 

"life's inevitable repose." 

 

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Inspiration for this piece:  Three Word Wednesday (3WW) offers up a selection of words every week.  My fingers itching to compose again sought out the word for this week in the hopes of finding some form of peace.  The words offered up this week were curious, inevitable, and wary. 
 
A note on form:  There really wasn't much choice in the matter.  I have a tendency to lean toward this form when the last Wednesday of the week crosses paths with 3WW.  This is a clarity pyramid.  Typically the syllable constraints (1,2,3 // 5,6,7 // 8) lend themselves toward a triangular structure (thus pyramid), but as is the case with some crazy multi-syllable words this effect is not always fully achieved.  This piece would be an example of that departure. 
 
Exposing word choice:  I initially settled on a 'word' to write my second stanza with after composing the first line of the second stanza.  I proceeded to finish the stanza before turning to the first stanza and the 'word' I had selected, "DEATH."  After quite some back-and-forth trying to uncover the next two lines, I looked at the word "closure" (stanza 2, line 3) and that in conjunction with "quietus" which was one of my choices for the initial 3-syllable line for "DEATH," caused me to change course and settle instead on "PEACE."  There is something about "PEACE" that just speaks to the overall verse in a variety of ways; I just couldn't help but steal its essence. 
 
 

on following

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An aside:  You'd think by now I'd be over it, but every time I even think to press/click/tap that "follow," I can't help but hold my breath, clench my teeth, furrow my brow, and -- inevitably -- chicken out  (or should I say goose out).  *sigh* ...Maybe tomorrow...

More Than

More Than

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Behind the image:  Monday started "Week of Respect."  There were an assortment of activities going on all week.  On my way out of work on Thursday night I found the stairs decorated in honor of this week.  I couldn't help snapping a picture of it.  Go figure, shortly afterwards I unearthed some words of my own to compliment those adhered to the stairs.

Sharp Tongue

Sharp Tongue
(image by rmp, that's me)

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Behind the image:  This summer I went to the aquarium and took a crazy number of pictures.  One of which was this little guy who blended so well into the background that if not for his sharp point teeth you would have thought him a log.  I took a complimentary photo of him beneath the water (see below). 

On poetics:  This is my eighth post utilizing an app called Poetics.  There are definitely some quirks with the app, but it is the first version and the bugs are minimal.  What I have enjoyed the most in these creations is the strategic placement of tiles, plus deciding when to join words in one tile and when to separate a word into multiple tiles.  It provides for some interesting visual placements to emphasize an entity of the verse. 

About this poetics:  Yes, I covered up the teeth with tiles...the intent was to make them a bit like teeth.  Along with the "teeth," I altered my original composition from using "knotty" to "k(naught)ty."  I'm not 100% sold on the final creation. 

Double vision?
(image by rmp, that's me)

Captured

It has been quite awhile since I've written...not that my recent posts of what I've tagged as poetics (due to the app used to create them) with short little numbers typeset upon an image aren't writing, but....

The last time I (really) wrote was almost exactly two months ago.  I know I've spoken of my unmotivated self for even longer than that.  I'm beginning to think it might be more than just lack of motivation.  It's not writer's block; though little has escaped me as of late, writing is not an issue.  I feel like I don't have anything really meaningful to say....not that everything I've ever written in the past has been meaningful...  Maybe inspired it a better word. Or maybe, I really don't care....which is a horrible thought really.  I don't know. 

So in an attempt to break myself out of this trance, I'm going to do something I have not done in quite sometime.  I'm going to compose something right here right now on the spot with little to no thought; forgive me ahead of time for how poorly this will turn out.

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Captured

I took a flower
captured it
still-life in my phone
stealing its beauty
(and imperfections)
to relive over and over
as time steals its beauty
forever from this world

I took a flower
captured it
in my minds eye
searching for a new beauty
(redesigned imperfection)
to give it new life
outside of the one stolen
by me
by the world

I took a flower
captured it
forever making it my own
so its beauty
(and imperfections)
could belong to me

#1 - At the Center
(photo by rmp, that's me)

#2 - At the Heart
(image by rmp, that's me)

#3 - A Delicate Beauty
(image by rmp, that's me)